Ya big FAKER

Best advice I've recently been given, "fake it 'til ya make it, baby doll."

This works in a myriad of ways but I'm talking about one. Attitude. Yes, the big "tude." Mine is as meek as a Jabberwocky, timid as a striptease. Stings like whiskey. Soothes like a thunderstorm.

I can tell when I'm nearing the tank being empty, the short fuse approaching. Things that normally would roll off as easy as raindrops on window shields become boulders in the driveway of my life. I got bit by a mosquito or something this weekend and my answer to solving this minor inconvenience was to scratch it until it no longer looked like a tiny little red dot but rather a large red-hot scorch mark. What would have taken a day to heal is now a 56 hour reminder to put things in perspective.

I try to have a carry a decent attitude for the sake of those around me. Yes, the strangers I come into contact deserve a smile, a door held open, a seat given up on the train when they seem to need it more than I. But more than the strangers I meet, I do it for my friends. I believe that my friends validate my existence.

Hang on, hang on....I'm not saying I live for my friends, I'm saying I love my friends. Truth be told, I choose to keep the number to about that of a baseball team but I love these folks to the depths of the Pacific Ocean. I try to have something special I share with each one, too. Sometimes it's easy to come up with the bond, other times it's hidden like the needle in a haystack. That's the fun in it for me....trying to uncover the hidden feature.

Occasionally though it can be misleading. Season. Reason. Lifetime. Sorry to say, the little saltwater fishes of my friendship come with the Lifetime subscription. I don't like kicking someone off the team, but I'm strong enough to know a painful goodbye is better than a lifetime of disappointment. For those that get the uniform, we may share the strangest common denominator or even seem a fallacious pair at first glance but peel away the layers and there's a reason.

So here's why I love you: For telling me not to wear the duct taped jeans, reminding me not to be silly - that we are best friends and "that's why." For correcting my creative use of the English language, helping me embrace the PIBE theory, for future schemes that include both of us, for sharing history and making memories, laughing for the 976th time about that one day, giving meaning to randomness. Nicknames and pseudo family titles that mean something. Sharing family members before they're gone, not holding grudges, trusting me to find the best secret hiding spots in plain sight. Creative cooking when we should have gone to bed, big plans that fizzle into the best ideas ever. Co-creating Porch Counsel for the purpose of hearing what has to be said and not caring how it sounds. Eating acorns and fast forwarding commercials. For biting and forgiving. For showing up and opening the door. Listening throughout the night to the sad and frustration and never judging. For doing something even though it makes no sense whatsoever and not needing it to. For showing me places I'd never discover on my own. For always having an invitation even when you know I may decline. Taking the good with the bad, the awful with the fantastic. Truly loving my cats when you know you'd rather they be dogs. Challenging me to be better. Recognizing when I struggle to ask for help, congratulating me when I succeed.

You all give me the reasons I sometimes feel the need to fake it. As with the other myriad of ways to fake it, I hope you can never tell the difference ;-)