So much of it is just not fitting together. Walking around inside myself it feels like an Amtrak train car on the elevated tracks of Chicago. Sure, it's 'A' mode of transportation, but it's not the 'same' kind of transportation -- walks like a duck, quacks like a duck......moves like a hippo.
Left work at 8 o'clock tonight and started the trip homeward. Got on a crowded train and luckily had a seat until the elderly couple came aboard and I felt that pull to be respectful. My job is sitting all day, I can surely stand to stand up for them. And I did. And it felt so good. I like to think my one small gesture of respect is witnessed by another and they reciprocate and on and on....an anonymous "paying it forward" of good intentions.
Have had family on the brain lately. Friend-family and Family-family, both genuine and real and true. While distance makes the heart grow fonder, it also breaks it into a thousand billion pieces of longing and wishing and dreaming distance was blocks instead of mile markers. I miss you sis and I wish it were different.
Swimming in my thoughts I shuffled away from the station and down my street. Thinking about so much of the days personal events: staying true to buying local at the Farmer's Market, caving and drinking delicious coffee, enjoying fresh air with company, making plans I'd give up coffee to see come to fruition, plans to see Pop this weekend, chores that have been stacking up.....and then seeing little brilliant flashes.......
They're home. The glo-bugs I miss so much when Fall comes around have come to light up my late night wanderings. My throat caught with that kind of happy that results in emotion saved for puppies and fireworks. Somethings fade away because they have to. Somethings come back 'round again because they are meant to. I've lamented so many things lately that have faded for reasons not entirely understood that I forgot....somethings will always be right there when you're not expecting them.
Welcome back glo-bugs. Brighten my walk home while you are here, I promise to pay attention until you fade away.
