I don't know how many of you are out there reading my postings, I know for certain there are six of you. For you six, plus anyone else reading, I offer an apology for not writing more frequently. Even as I sit here apologizing to you for not writing I feel like this post is sucking monkey balls and I don't want to finish it. It's just that I haven't had a lot to say which is surprising since I'm not lacking things bumping around in my head -- trust me, it's like a goddamn roller skating rink in there -- thoughts just keep going round and round and round and round....getting dizzy...and I'm afraid of what will happen when the song stops and I need to make sense of it all. I'm avoiding it. And in the last 20 years I've crafted some very strong avoidance techniques so I'm really good at it. Huh, too bad there isn't some way to get paid to avoid things......what?
Honestly, I have been trying to decide what to write about for the last couple weeks and when I finally get a nugget of a topic started in my head, I lose it before I get the time or energy to start writing. To help explain how it feels, let's keep going with the roller skating analogy. It's like the thoughts that are going round and round in my head daily are the expert speed skaters, the kind that do all those fancy tricks and backward skating in the middle of the rink. They are effortless and unlimited. Then the creative ideas, the lists of things to do, the weekend plans and compliments for friends, care and concern to give, decisions and Christmas wishes are the little kids on skates for the first time flung to the outer edges of the rink. Barely able to stand erect, they cling to the shag carpeted walls on the outside and try to muster the strength to make it a quarter of the way to the next exit. Here their skates hit the worn carpeted safety zone and they feel that relief that the attention is no longer theirs. All the while the advanced skaters are doing bigger tricks and skating faster and more furious with the extra room that has been created with the exodus of all the carpet clutchers.
This is what is happening. This is why I apologize to you six (teen?) readers. I just don't want to write about the thoughts that are the speed skaters in my rink. And I'm afraid until they've exhausted themselves, or I cut off their feet, I have no choice but to wait it out.
That said, today is December 1st. It's almost a year since Test Your Pen's conception. I'm really proud and really thankful that you bother to come back and check it out, it means a lot to me. You should register and be counted with the other brave 6 souls that are "followers." While it won't get you a free meal or cup of coffee, it does make you a member of a very elite group. Act now and for anyone who registers before the end of the year that person can name the topic of a posting I have to write about. Your registration, your choice of posting topic. What a deal! Hurry, only 30 days left!! Just think, you could play a huge part in making the speed skaters stop so the newbies can come back to the rink and entertain you!
