Blur

AAAAARRGH. If I don't escape out of the city soon, I think there will be some serious issues.

I need to be away from my desk.......
Away from phone and email.........
I need open sky.......and a kanteen of wine.

I haven't sat in front of a campfire
or watched stars, rowed a boat
or walked on the beach yet this Summer.

My insomnia is back, I can't resist snacking and my face is a mess
I'm quick to lose patience and I can't make a decision to save my life.

I want to be excited and surprised; goofy and optimistic. If I continue with this current state I'm going to be thought of as that snarky ugly girl with dull hair and a bad attitude. I'M TRULY NOT A BAD ATTITUDE KIND OF CHICK!! WHILE NEVER MISS SUNSHINE, I HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO BRIGHTEN SOMEONE'S DAY, I AM CAPABLE OF IT. I think.

But lately I find myself doubting my ability to be a good friend, a good daughter, co-worker or neighbor. I can't imagine why anyone puts up with my distracted behaviour and my total apathy toward making plans and arranging outings. I'm just so tired.

And it's all been so blurry. I need to get out of the city.